Wearing Pants to Church?

My first reaction when I heard about the Wear Pants to Church Day was scorn mixed with with disbelief. Why does anyone feel they need to make a big deal out of wearing pants? Who feels like they're so slighted by the LDS Church that they need to make a movement this Sunday? It's just silly! I confess I didn't have a very charitable attitude but I was also curious which is why I decided to read more about this feminist movement so I could understand.

The Facebook event, Wear Pants to Church Day states:

"The creators of this event are feminists. This event is the first act of All Enlisted, a direct action group for Mormon women to advocate for equality within our faith. We do not seek to eradicate the differences between women and men, but we do want the LDS Church and its members to acknowledge the similarities. We believe that much of the cultural, structural, and even doctrinal inequality that persists in the LDS church today stems from the church's reliance on – and enforcement of – rigid gender roles that bear no relationship to reality. See:http://www.ldswave.org/?p=402"

In the link their reasons are further explained and a list of inequalities is included. I also read a few responses and thoughts of others as I have pondered over these things. 

I began my reading with Middle-aged Mormon Man since we're facebook friends and I first heard about the event through him. I also read this blog post I found, this one and assorted news and thoughts from others. As a result I have a couple of my own thoughts to add.

First of all, things I know and believe: 

1. I know my Heavenly Father has a plan. I know his plan is extensive and that His organization of His church is part of that plan.
2. I believe gender is important. Men and women are different and their differences need to be acknowledged and used as strengths not smoothed over to make everyone the same.
3. Individuals do not fit into perfect molds. Not everyone is the same. We have different strengths and weaknesses on purpose to fulfill our roles in life. We struggle with different things that shape who we are. It would be boring if we were all identical.
4. Our purpose in life is go through tests and trials to become better people and to learn as much as we possibly can.
5. The purpose of going to church is to learn about the gospel of Jesus Christ. By doing so I learn about my Savior and become a better person because I want to be like Him.

I think my whole issue with this event is that I don't feel slighted or unequal at church in the least. I can understand the point of view that these women are expressing and I understand that the things that they are frustrated with are important to them. I'm just more worried about knowing my lessons well enough to teach the Young Women on Sundays, keeping on top of my personal scripture study, staying awake during sacrament meeting (pregnancy is making me super tired) as well as a myriad of other issues that consume my time. These women and I are different and have experienced different things in the same church. I have no experience or knowledge with some of their complaints. Especially those having to do with abuse, discipline and amount of women's input on church policies etc. There is a lot I do not know but I base how I feel and what I know my own experiences and the basic doctrines of my church and do my best to separate that from the culture and imperfections of human nature.

The messages I hear at church always uplift women. (Great article on LDS doctrine on women) I hear people joke about how in the Relief Society/YW meetings the women are always told how wonderful they are and in Priesthood meetings the men are always told to step up their game and to stay away from pornography. Sometimes it seems that men get the bum end of the deal, other times it seems like it's the women. You can collect arguments for both sides but that is not important to me. Here's what I understand about the doctrine on my church.

About Sacrament meeting: Elder Dallin H. Oaks says, "The ordinance of the sacrament makes the sacrament meeting the most sacred and important meeting in the Church. It is the only Sabbath meeting the entire family can attend together. Its content in addition to the sacrament should always be planned and presented to focus our attention on the Atonement and teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ."

About the role of the Priesthood: "God gives priesthood authority to worthy male members of the Church so they can act in His name for the salvation of His children. Priesthood holders can be authorized to preach the gospel, administer the ordinances of salvation, and govern the kingdom of God on the earth.... The most important exercise of the priesthood takes place in the family. Each husband and father in the Church should strive to be worthy to hold the Melchizedek Priesthood. With his wife as an equal partner, he presides in righteousness and love, serving as the family's spiritual leader. He leads the family in regular prayer, scripture study, and family home evening. He works with his wife to teach the children and help them prepare to receive the ordinances of salvation."

About what to wear to church: "You’re welcome to wear any clothes that you feel comfortable attending a church service in. Men typically wear suits and ties, and women wear dresses or skirts. Children also usually dress up." and "Attending church is about worship and learning to be followers of Jesus Christ, LDS spokesman Scott Trotter said Tuesday in a statement. Generally church members are encouraged to wear their best clothing as a sign of respect for the Savior, but we don't counsel people beyond that."(link here)

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is precise when it is important (No alcohol, tobacco, drugs, sex outside of marriage etc.) but has guidelines when it is ultimately up to the individual and the family (how to keep the sabbath day holy, what media to allow in the home, etc). What one wears to church does not matter. One's best is subjective and cannot be measure by comparing one to another. The gospel of Jesus Christ is more comprehensive than clothing, cliques, culture and rules. The gospel of Jesus Christ is love. Mark 12:30-31 Love the Lord thy God and love your neighbor. When we are doing this we know what is important, we nurture and embrace people and the individuals they are. We need to support and uplift each other because we are all doing our best and struggling with our own trials invisible to the naked eye. 

Bottom-line:

I am not wearing pants to church today because it is not my Sunday best.

Survival Mode

I am in survival mode. Every day I get up, eat, go to work and do pretty much the same thing. Occasionally I have the day off where I try to do something different. This usually consists of paying bills I have ignored, laundry, helping a friend, trying to find some other employment besides Walmart. Most of the time my days off include some sitting and tv watching as well because I am just way too overwhelmed by the things I need to do. My husband is great at encouraging and uplifting me but he's stuck in survival mode just as much as I am. He goes to school, goes to his rotations and does his best to help around the house. We both have hopes and dreams and it just feels like we are stuck until he graduates. Counting every penny, trying not to be a burden on society, desperately looking for some way to better our situation and coming up empty. Sometimes when the day is over it feels wasted. I know this will get better but when? I would like to know when please!

Of course it's not all bad. Counting the negatives never helps a situation. We are blessed to have student loans that cover our housing, blessed to be welcoming our baby boy in March and blessed to have a job (even if it is at Walmart ;) Blessed that Joey loves his program and knows so much about it. Blessed to have a testimony and to attend a church where I can continually learn and be uplifted by wonderful people who love Jesus Christ. Blessed to teach learn with the Young Women who already know so much. They are so strong and will be great teachers, leaders and mothers eventually. I am blessed to have a Heavenly Father who knows and loves me. I am surviving with his help and right now that's enough.