A Wonderful Day

Today was a wonderful day. I haven't posted in a really long time and I will do a catch up soon since this is one of my goals but I really wanted to record today. Nothing spectacular or out of the ordinary happened, today is Saturday and my day off but it was a pratically perfect day. Ryan and I had so much fun playing with his blocks, playing hide and go seek, and having a dance party! I was also able to catch up on some housework, laundry, clean the bathroom and vacuum too! AND I didn't feel like I had to compromise between spening time with Ryan or having a clean house. I even cooked a healthy lunch and dinner. The best part was before bed when Ryan was actually laying still on top of me on the couch before bed and we read a couple of books together and Skyped Joey. I felt so complete, happy and accomplished in that moment. I wouldn't trade it for anything. I have the cutest, most handsome amazing kid on the planet. He has an amazing silly personality and I can't wait until he starts talking. I am very grateful to be his mother.

Wearing Pants to Church?

My first reaction when I heard about the Wear Pants to Church Day was scorn mixed with with disbelief. Why does anyone feel they need to make a big deal out of wearing pants? Who feels like they're so slighted by the LDS Church that they need to make a movement this Sunday? It's just silly! I confess I didn't have a very charitable attitude but I was also curious which is why I decided to read more about this feminist movement so I could understand.

The Facebook event, Wear Pants to Church Day states:

"The creators of this event are feminists. This event is the first act of All Enlisted, a direct action group for Mormon women to advocate for equality within our faith. We do not seek to eradicate the differences between women and men, but we do want the LDS Church and its members to acknowledge the similarities. We believe that much of the cultural, structural, and even doctrinal inequality that persists in the LDS church today stems from the church's reliance on – and enforcement of – rigid gender roles that bear no relationship to reality. See:http://www.ldswave.org/?p=402"

In the link their reasons are further explained and a list of inequalities is included. I also read a few responses and thoughts of others as I have pondered over these things. 

I began my reading with Middle-aged Mormon Man since we're facebook friends and I first heard about the event through him. I also read this blog post I found, this one and assorted news and thoughts from others. As a result I have a couple of my own thoughts to add.

First of all, things I know and believe: 

1. I know my Heavenly Father has a plan. I know his plan is extensive and that His organization of His church is part of that plan.
2. I believe gender is important. Men and women are different and their differences need to be acknowledged and used as strengths not smoothed over to make everyone the same.
3. Individuals do not fit into perfect molds. Not everyone is the same. We have different strengths and weaknesses on purpose to fulfill our roles in life. We struggle with different things that shape who we are. It would be boring if we were all identical.
4. Our purpose in life is go through tests and trials to become better people and to learn as much as we possibly can.
5. The purpose of going to church is to learn about the gospel of Jesus Christ. By doing so I learn about my Savior and become a better person because I want to be like Him.

I think my whole issue with this event is that I don't feel slighted or unequal at church in the least. I can understand the point of view that these women are expressing and I understand that the things that they are frustrated with are important to them. I'm just more worried about knowing my lessons well enough to teach the Young Women on Sundays, keeping on top of my personal scripture study, staying awake during sacrament meeting (pregnancy is making me super tired) as well as a myriad of other issues that consume my time. These women and I are different and have experienced different things in the same church. I have no experience or knowledge with some of their complaints. Especially those having to do with abuse, discipline and amount of women's input on church policies etc. There is a lot I do not know but I base how I feel and what I know my own experiences and the basic doctrines of my church and do my best to separate that from the culture and imperfections of human nature.

The messages I hear at church always uplift women. (Great article on LDS doctrine on women) I hear people joke about how in the Relief Society/YW meetings the women are always told how wonderful they are and in Priesthood meetings the men are always told to step up their game and to stay away from pornography. Sometimes it seems that men get the bum end of the deal, other times it seems like it's the women. You can collect arguments for both sides but that is not important to me. Here's what I understand about the doctrine on my church.

About Sacrament meeting: Elder Dallin H. Oaks says, "The ordinance of the sacrament makes the sacrament meeting the most sacred and important meeting in the Church. It is the only Sabbath meeting the entire family can attend together. Its content in addition to the sacrament should always be planned and presented to focus our attention on the Atonement and teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ."

About the role of the Priesthood: "God gives priesthood authority to worthy male members of the Church so they can act in His name for the salvation of His children. Priesthood holders can be authorized to preach the gospel, administer the ordinances of salvation, and govern the kingdom of God on the earth.... The most important exercise of the priesthood takes place in the family. Each husband and father in the Church should strive to be worthy to hold the Melchizedek Priesthood. With his wife as an equal partner, he presides in righteousness and love, serving as the family's spiritual leader. He leads the family in regular prayer, scripture study, and family home evening. He works with his wife to teach the children and help them prepare to receive the ordinances of salvation."

About what to wear to church: "You’re welcome to wear any clothes that you feel comfortable attending a church service in. Men typically wear suits and ties, and women wear dresses or skirts. Children also usually dress up." and "Attending church is about worship and learning to be followers of Jesus Christ, LDS spokesman Scott Trotter said Tuesday in a statement. Generally church members are encouraged to wear their best clothing as a sign of respect for the Savior, but we don't counsel people beyond that."(link here)

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is precise when it is important (No alcohol, tobacco, drugs, sex outside of marriage etc.) but has guidelines when it is ultimately up to the individual and the family (how to keep the sabbath day holy, what media to allow in the home, etc). What one wears to church does not matter. One's best is subjective and cannot be measure by comparing one to another. The gospel of Jesus Christ is more comprehensive than clothing, cliques, culture and rules. The gospel of Jesus Christ is love. Mark 12:30-31 Love the Lord thy God and love your neighbor. When we are doing this we know what is important, we nurture and embrace people and the individuals they are. We need to support and uplift each other because we are all doing our best and struggling with our own trials invisible to the naked eye. 

Bottom-line:

I am not wearing pants to church today because it is not my Sunday best.

Survival Mode

I am in survival mode. Every day I get up, eat, go to work and do pretty much the same thing. Occasionally I have the day off where I try to do something different. This usually consists of paying bills I have ignored, laundry, helping a friend, trying to find some other employment besides Walmart. Most of the time my days off include some sitting and tv watching as well because I am just way too overwhelmed by the things I need to do. My husband is great at encouraging and uplifting me but he's stuck in survival mode just as much as I am. He goes to school, goes to his rotations and does his best to help around the house. We both have hopes and dreams and it just feels like we are stuck until he graduates. Counting every penny, trying not to be a burden on society, desperately looking for some way to better our situation and coming up empty. Sometimes when the day is over it feels wasted. I know this will get better but when? I would like to know when please!

Of course it's not all bad. Counting the negatives never helps a situation. We are blessed to have student loans that cover our housing, blessed to be welcoming our baby boy in March and blessed to have a job (even if it is at Walmart ;) Blessed that Joey loves his program and knows so much about it. Blessed to have a testimony and to attend a church where I can continually learn and be uplifted by wonderful people who love Jesus Christ. Blessed to teach learn with the Young Women who already know so much. They are so strong and will be great teachers, leaders and mothers eventually. I am blessed to have a Heavenly Father who knows and loves me. I am surviving with his help and right now that's enough.

Because I Choose To

So Joey and I watched Matrix Revolutions the other night. I had heard so much about the Matrix movies but hadn't seen one til the other night because they are rated R. Since it was the last of the Matrix movies, Joey and I were both lost but there was a war, a bad guy, good guy, humans and a computer world from what I gathered. Despite losing the story line the movie was incredibly well done and the graphics and film work were amazing. What really struck me though was the last battle scene between the good guy and bad guy. Before this it looks like the bad guy is winning and Neo (good guy) is getting his tush kicked. You can see in the video that Agent Smith just cannot figure out why Neo will not give up. He gets angrier and angrier that he doesn't know why Neo keeps fighting even though Agent Smith believes that it is already a fact that he has won with his army of clones. It is such an epic moment when Neo gets up and says, "Because I choose to."

What a powerful statement, Because I choose to. Our lives center around choices. Big or small our choices have consequences and take us down different paths. Some choices affect others but all of our choices affect ourselves, how we view the world and the progress we are making in life. Neo chose to fight, to try to defeat evil. It didn't matter what reasons he had to do so all that mattered was that choice to do something difficult. Evil was confident it would win but with Leo's choice it was defeated.

Two popular movies are out now at the top of the box office. Magic Mike and Ted. Joey and I jokingly said that I could go see Magic Mike and he can go see Ted. We've bantered back and forth about it but we both know we were not going to see either of them. I began to think about why this movie was so tempting to me and I realized that I was beginning to rationalize why I could go see it. I am a married adult and can handle adult themes right? I'm so mature and it can't be that bad could it? It wasn't until I was called out by this article (50 Shades of Magic Mike (In Which I Am VERY UNCOOL). 

Melissa Jenna says, "Christian women need to reject both of these works, and instead, use our voices in support of what is good, right and true. It is our responsibility, as daughters of the Heavenly King, to remain set-apart from the poisons of our culture, to rebuke temptation, and to celebrate and honor righteousness." Right after I read that I knew that there was no way I could still consider to see that movie. Melissa also supports her point with scriptural references but I already felt her statement to be true. In a follow up post, So This is Love?, she says, "If your faith is tied up in people-pleasing, and following rules in order to be accepted by people, your faith is in trouble. I used to resent Christians, because I didn't feel like I needed to live a certain way in order for God to love me. And that's the truth. God loves you, no matter what. But here's the thing: if you believe that God, your Father, loves you and only wants the best for you, it follows that you would, out of respect and love for Him, do your best to live in a way that honors Him, and brings glory to his name. It is IMPOSSIBLE to be happy living that life if you are looking to others for validations. So many of us have tried doing just that, and failed miserably."

 

What a powerful reminder these two articles were to me. A reminder that I do have a choice. That by seeing one movie may not be a big deal to some but to me it was moment to reevaluate which path I wanted to be on. I will "support ...what is good, right and true," I will remember that I am a daughter of my Heavenly Father and I will do what I know is right. Because I Choose To.

Movin' Right Along!

Well this week we are moving! We picked up the keys yesterday and it's hard to believe that this day is here! I am so very excited about moving to the new place. To me it signifies a new beginning and fresh start. For a while I've been feeling like we were in the wrong place and moving in the wrong direction but with this move everything feels so much better. I've also been better about praying and reading my scriptures so that has to help too!

Another reason I'm glad we are moving is that my family will be coming up to help us! Mom and Benjamin get here tomorrow then my Dad, Aunt Glenda and Uncle Brian will be here on Saturday! I haven't seen most of them since Mother's day. We were able to spend some time with Uncle Brian's family 2 weeks ago (If I'm calculating correctly). There were able to swing into town on their way home from Ida's college orientation and some KC fun. We went out to lunch and had a good ol' time!

So here's to new beginnings, happiness and stress for this week. Hopefully we can fit a little joy in there as well :)

~Brianna

Choosing Joy

I've been wanting to blog for a while. I've started, stopped and have wished for more courage and self-esteem to forge ahead in blogging. So here goes!


I want to choose JOY! And I do believe it is a choice. The choices we make have consequences that will lead us to happiness or sorrow. I was looking at my Pinterest quotes for inspiration and I found two pins that really inspire me for beginning this blog as well as a direction for my life.


The first pin and inspiration for the title: 

The second is a picture of Sister Marjorie Pay Hinckley and this quote:

“I don't want to drive up to the pearly gates in a shiny sports car, wearing beautifully, tailored clothes, my hair expertly coiffed, and with long, perfectly manicured fingernails. I want to drive up in a station wagon that has mud on the wheels from taking kids to scout camp. I want to be there with a smudge of peanut butter on my shirt from making sandwiches for a sick neighbors children. I want to be there with a little dirt under my fingernails from helping to weed someone's garden. I want to be there with children's sticky kisses on my cheeks and the tears of a friend on my shoulder. I want the Lord to know I was really here and that I really lived.” -Marjorie Pay Hinckley

I confess I cannot find the origin of the quote so if anyone knows where/when she said it I would love to know! The part of the quote that I love is "I want the Lord to know I was really here and that I really lived." I don't think she's talking about living in the alive and breathing sense. She was talking about living life to it's fullest. Doing the important things, serving others,  being faithful, taking time with the "small things" that end up being the big things, what is most important. 

That is what I want my life to be, full of the "small things." I want to focus on being a good friend, a good wife, and eventually a good mother. When I leave this life I won't be remembered for how well I tried to dress or how nice my house was. I want to be remembered as a treasured friend and as someone who "really lived" life by choosing joy.  

~Brianna